Poetry by Stan
A Brief Thought of Age
It is dead in the city
midnight outside my window
cars ease by like hyphens in a windstorm
tonight is different like colored coffins
I swore I wouldn’t feel this way again
yet here I am alone and you twenty-three
stair steps away how can that be?
Age as far as I can see draws draperies
across our windows of intimacy.
Age that impenetrable cataract
draws draperies across our memory.
Of course we blame it on maturity
and too many losses between us.
I the impotent lover and impotent convict
upon this small plank which we walk.
Boxes
Boxes as far as the eye can see
each a cocoon for a poor child
each a place with room for sleep
each a place to thwart our dreams.
Which box is yours?
Take your pick after all
they’re no different
refuges each and every one.
Is there a time when boxes fall
for popsicles to give way
to brick and mortar?
Not soon my child not soon.
Sweet baby grows tears
dirtied and disassembled
the world rolls on and on
stopping only at the grave.
Santa Died Last Night
Snow falls arbitrarily across our street
first snow this year pronouncing itself king of kings
I guess I am grateful in this warm manger
for not fighting red-faced wind burned snowball flakes.
It’s a sad time some say I say so too
people die more often they say I say so too
near holidays no doubt with broken hearts,
insatiable needs for immortality ringing in deaf ears.
High definition virgin snow show outside my window
I sip slowly on a nameless red wine watching headlights
pass anonymous friends with nerves on edge
fearing control will slip from their fingers.
Are we not all afraid of our destinies?
Those slush filled dreams bring us down
to reality and reality is a broken heart,
the insatiable need to live and fight the forces
which insist our skin must age
our bodies must decay
winter storms burst our fantasies
after all we fear the virgin snow of our death.
1952
A night I remember well so well
blizzard road and a cherry red motor
ditches surrounded us and I but a child
no one near on a full moon path
we were lost and never stopped.
You died soon after, dark dirt mouth
white bearded cemetery swallowed you
something swallowed us five poor white
kids with hollowed sockets of brown
we crept into our beds that night your bed
empty yet breathing not life our life
turned on a dime in a forty eight chevy.
I watch as cars pass in gray November fog
wondering if tomorrow
comes again
for three white kids left.
Land That I Love
Thousands of voices reach into the frosted air
upside down in an upside up world
black boots marching always marching
each mindless soldier does what needs doing.
Freedom rings in cubicles inside warm and cool
freedom dies in the streets of needles rubber hoses
don’t dirty the parks don’t spit on the boot heels
let freedom ring in oligarchies red combed roosters.
No one helps those who help themselves
brown shirts have turned to pin stripes
well trimmed hair without conscience
office in front hold the calls for freedom.
Food lines hospital lines road signs fools say
9-9-9 may I sleep with you
touch you to the top of America
and grind you down to size when I am done.
America is falling Marxist
rumors spread no wealth
unless you’re a plumber in Ohio
America a free
falling golden parachute
free basing its way to the third world.
Full Moon
How obsessed this moon bent so
on exposing raw nakedness of night
disrobing nightshirts off each tree and shrub
searing holes through drawn curtains
such rude discovery of my
nudity how pale the voyeur
seeking keyholes in every cloud
respecting none oh silent rapist
goes unscathed until sliced into a quarter
until sliced in a new.
Greyhound Gods
Smoke filled dungeons
crowded avenues desperation
scattered along golden highways.
The gods have died they just gave up
couldn’t cope so they left town swiftly.
They left some pot a couple of beers
a few love songs and a hole in my soul.
War is Hell
Is it fair to say we are dead
proverbial door knob
never again twisted
no room to enter or exit
sorry the cage is
closed for business.
Wars end and begin
peace bargained
high bidder wins and god bless the loser
ragged child
without shoes and food
IEDs hidden in your underwear
take them off and
shower clean your sins.
One legged soldier
smiles at two shoes
one too tight the other lonesome
war a penis extension
for generals
kings and jacks with wild cards
royal flush just flushed the
desert clean.
Sad Lady
Sad lady with a teddy bear
clutched tightly
against your breasts
where are you shuffling to
after midnight on dismal
nightlike this?
Glowing cigarettes whiz by
in blurry cars
you ignore
I wonder who you are
or who you were?
Has someone cracked your heart
causing such a vacant stare
lifeless eyes like stars
reflecting headlights, the big city glow.
The big city
I have driven through so many times
picking up and dropping off
people I have loved so dearly
Sad lady if only I had a teddy bear.
For the Wretched
Too much to say not enough time
like never burn your mind
in an empty crack house stairway
don’t step on a crack
make your mother proud
even if pride is lost to her to you
gooseflesh and grandma’s grave
never matched never hatched
so much for folklore crack whores
and the time it takes to breathe
to die without someone by your side
don’t do it, just don’t do it.
A Vinyl Night
You and I sat cold by the tent
you were stoned
I didn’t know
California nights
could be so bone cold
we watched campers
moving in and out like ants
on a drop of misplaced honey
it was a vinyl gypsy night
as campfires curled snake smoke
against a carbon black sky.
The beach was stark empty
you needed friendship
I offered only silence
silence and a beer
you wanted neither.
We smiled as laughter
resiliently rolled from nearby tents,
love laughter, bare skin giggles.
No stars shined in a bleak darkness
just a gnawing void never leaving me.
God I feel it again, today.
Welcome
Bare baby slapped
twisted and gagged
born in violence
scabbing belly button
here you are
what’s next
momma’s tit
daddy’s gift to you
more violence
welcome to this world
don’t cry
don’t be hungry
don’t need
for god’s sake
don’t need.
Changed
I have sat alone and cried
so many times for promises
vacant broken glass.
It seems I cannot count
failed follies
since knowing you.
Love’s cruelty sad
like sparrows in winter
and frozen clay in spring.
Parting now I say
butterflies must change
to see their tomorrows.
Hopeless
It never stops
this ball of muck
rolling through my mind
like a pebble in a shoe
I can’t walk forward
until it’s been plucked.
The lingering dreams
never bring good news
just headlines of hopeless hypocrisy
will I die in a homeland
that never was?
Jesus Saves
Treasures have eluded me
same shirt as yesterday
same torn sneakers
same night gags.
Where do paupers rest
park bench studios
internet cafes
appliance boxes?
Is there a savior
surrounding
oily necks
or piss scented hideaways?
Jail cell luxury
is best for me
three hots and a cot
god loves us all.
Jesus left today
black Lexus
with sirens blasting
morning prayers.